What Is Thanatophobia? Understanding the Fear of Losing Someone

If you have seen any of the Final Destination films, you know they can leave you with a lingering feeling of death everywhere. For a little while, you gain an uncanny ability to see the most mundane things go wrong and end in death. But for some people, this is a constant fear. It’s normal to worry about losing people you love, but for some, this fear completely takes over their everyday life. This intense fear of death is called thanatophobia. 

What Is Thanatophobia?

While the term literally translates to “fear of death” in Greek, it is more than just that. It also includes the fear of separation and the uncertainty that comes with loss. Some people fear being left alone, while others worry about what might happen to their loved ones after they’re gone.

Mental health professionals do not define thanatophobia as a distinct disorder in itself. Instead, they believe it may connect with other anxiety disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), panic attacks, and anxiety about illnesses. 

Signs You May Have A Phobia of Losing Someone

Everyone has moments of worry, but the issue becomes a matter of concern when the fear grows intense and persistent. If you find yourself relating to this, here are some signs that your anxiety might be crossing into phobia territory. 

• You feel immediate anxiety when thinking about dying or the process of death.
• You experience panic attacks at the thought of death, with symptoms that include trembling, sweating, and heart palpitations.
• You frequently imagine worst-case scenarios about loved ones.
• You avoid conversations or activities that remind you of illness, ageing, or death. 

What Causes This Fear?

The losing someone phobia can develop for different reasons. A few common triggers include. 

Past Loss: Losing a loved one suddenly or traumatically can create lasting fear that it might happen again.
Childhood Experiences: Witnessing illness while growing up can sow the fear of loss at a young age.
Anxiety Sensitivity: People who experience anxiety are often more concerned about danger, even when none exists.
Cultural or Spiritual Beliefs: Your thoughts on death and the afterlife also shape how you process loss.

How This Fear Affects Relationships

The real downside of this fear is that its effect extends beyond the person who has it. If you experience this phobia, you’ll notice it also affects your relationships with others. You might become overprotective, constantly checking on people or worrying when you can’t reach them by phone. In some cases, you might avoid close attachments altogether, thinking it’s safer not to get “too close.”

Ironically, what starts as a way to protect love can end up straining it. Loved ones might feel smothered by these constant check-ins. At the same time, you might feel anxious and misunderstood. Recognising this cycle is an important part of breaking it. 

How to Overcome the Fear of Losing Someone

Here’s the kicker: you can’t completely erase this fear; it’s part of being human. But you can learn to manage it so it no longer controls your life. Here are a few steps that can help: 

Talk About It Openly: Sharing your worries with someone you trust can ease the emotional burden. Your fears often lose power when you say them out loud.
Challenge Anxious Thoughts: When you catch yourself imagining the worst, pause and ask, “How likely is this to happen right now?”
Create Grounding Routines: Simple habits like deep breathing exercises, journalling, or spending time outdoors can calm your body’s fear response.
Limit Triggers: Constantly consuming distressing news or scrolling through tragic stories can increase your anxiety. Start by setting firm boundaries around media consumption.
Seek Professional Help: Therapy is very effective. Talking to a psychologist helps you unpack where your fear comes from and learn coping tools to handle it better.

At BetterPlace, we specialise in helping people manage their phobias and anxiety through counselling and CBT. Clients often find significant relief. Here’s what Himalika shared about her experience managing anxiety with our support. 

“I had a major health scare in 2023, and I have been soooo paranoid ever since. Any time I got even a single gash or a cold, my whole world would come crashing down. I’d think “this is it for me”. Thankfully, after talking to the doctors at BetterPlace, I got to know it’s nothing major, just anxiety. My treatment has been going on for 3 months, and I already feel so much better. 

Moving from Fear to Acceptance

You cannot protect yourself from every loss. In fact, if you try too hard, it might lead to more anxiety. What truly helps is accepting your fears and learning to live with uncertainty. If you’ve been struggling with persistent anxiety or the fear of losing someone, know that you’re not alone.  

Professional support at BetterPlace, like therapy or counselling, can help you navigate this journey. Whether you call it thanatophobia or the fear of losing someone phobia, remember, it’s not a weakness. It’s a signal that your heart deeply values connection.